Is Fear of Divorce a Valid Reason Not to Get Married?

However, when they enter into marriage, they are left with no choice but to face the real side of life. While the courting days were dominated by the complete attention and love of the partner, married life is dominated by career, household responsibilities and children. This causes the couple to drift away from one another and if they do not take proper initiatives to revive the excitement, it could ultimately lead to divorce.

So, in an effort to escape these commitments and keep alive the excitement of the courting days, most young people avoid marriage. They prefer the freedom that is offered to them in living with a partner without getting married.

This poses a fresh set of questions: Can these relationships really be as fulfilling as marriage? Are these live-in relationships a healthy trend? Is it wise to give up marriage out of a fear of divorce? Let us discuss some possible answers.

Cohabitation – The Current Trend

A live-in relationship is also called cohabitation. In this, a couple share physical and emotional intimacy and live together without getting married.

Cohabitation has now become a trial run before marriage among people in the UK. Statistics reveal that about 70% of people try cohabitation before opting for marriage. Nearly 25% of children are born during cohabitation. Also, the percentage of divorce among couples who marry after cohabitation is higher than couples who head straight towards marriage.

Cohabitation Vs Marriage

Let us now see how a cohabitation relationship varies from a marriage:

• Entering a cohabitation relationship is simple. Unlike a marriage, you do not need a license, minimum age or an official ceremony to mark the beginning of your relationship.



• Similarly, ending a cohabitation relationship is also quite easy. There are no courtroom battles, negotiation on alimony or strict laws governing the division of property, as in the case of a marriage. So, if one of the partners has been financially dependant on the other, they are not automatically entitled to financial support, when a cohabitation relationship breaks up.



• No matter how long they have lived together, the cohabitating partners cannot make important decisions on behalf of each other, in cases of an emergency. When a person is too ill to make a decision, only the family members can decide on the health care and financial issues rather than the partner.



• In the case of death of a person in the cohabitation relationship, his partner will not inherit his property unless is it mentioned in the Will.

Cohabitation – Is it a Solution to Divorce?

Having seen the problems faced by their parents, the children of divorced couple usually opt for cohabitation prior to marriage to avert divorce. However, contrary to the belief that cohabitation helps to strengthen married life, it increases the probability of divorce. Since there are no laws to protect the cohabitating partners, a person might indulge in adultery and get away with it easily.

Problems are common in every relationship. Whenever a problem arises in a live-in relationship, people tend to break away and escape from the relationship. As a result, there might be a total lack of commitment to stick together during bad times, in a cohabitation relationship. Also, moving from one partner to another to avoid problems might not create a sense of bonding or fulfilment in this relationship.

No matter how long you have been in a cohabitation relationship, you will still not be entitled to your partner’s property or pension. On the other hand, when children are born in a cohabitation relationship, the father does not have the rights to make important decisions concerning the child.

The fear of commitment and divorce are the major factors that scare people away from marriage. However, these people are seldom aware of the limitation of rights in cohabitation. People are not financially protected in this relationship and could be easily taken for a ride. Also, it does not make any sense to avoid marriage fearing divorce, since the emotional pain caused due to a break up is the same as the pain in a divorce.

The Last Word

Just because your parents’ marriage ended in divorce does not imply that your marriage would face the same fate too. When you fall in love with the right person and both of you are willing to work your way through the marriage, it is time to forget the scary divorce statistics. By fearing divorce, when you stay away from marriage, you would never get to experience the happiness and fulfilment that is a part of marital life alone. So, instead of allowing the dark shadows of the past to spoil your future, have faith in your love and enjoy the bliss of marriage and family. All the Best!