Divorce – Is It Time?

As we were sitting on the dining table and cutting vegetables, she slowly opened up. She asked me if it would be appropriate to go in for a divorce. I slowly looked up at her. I knew that something had gone wrong terribly somewhere. I asked her as to what made her arrive at that decision. She said that she no longer enjoyed the same comfort level with Jim, her husband, as she did at the time of her marriage two years ago.

I burst out laughing. She looked at me in surprise. I quite understood the reason for her surprise. Here was someone narrating her tale of woe and there I was laughing away. Quickly regaining myself, I explained to her that even the court of law would need a valid reason for your divorce. A decrease in comfort level can never be accepted as a reason under no circumstance under any point in time.

I gave her a list of necessary conditions which a court would insist upon before granting a divorce. Do you also want to know the reasons? Here they go:

• Happiness in the Relationship: This is one of the major concerns that need to be addressed. But this is a situation where you really need to make a very careful decision. Just because you were unhappy last week due to a fight that you had with your spouse does not necessarily mean that you need to walk out of the relationship. Differences will always exist and the success of your marriage is to accept each others’ differences and appreciate them at the end of the day.



• Decline in Self-Esteem: If you feel that your spouse is treating you unfairly which has either resulted in the decline of your self esteem or confidence, you need to act your part to restore it from well within the marriage. While doing so, if you feel that your spouse is a huge hindrance, it is only then that you walk out to make your own way of living. Anything that you do to reinstate or uphold the dignity and rights as an individual in this society is always accepted.



• Abusive Partner: In the event that you feel that your partner is physically or emotionally abusive, there is no need for you to stay in that relationship any further. In order to reinstate your rights as an individual, you can always walk out of the relationship any time.



• Infidelity: You always need not put up with infidelity. Your spouse is the person on whom you have bestowed all your love, affection and trust. Extramarital affairs or infidelity is a direct breach of trust that you have in him or her. You necessarily need not tolerate such an action and terminate the relationship if you want to.



• Desertion: There can’t be a second opinion on this issue. A person, who has deserted you either due to fear of commitments or has gone in pursuit of a better life, does not need a pardon. The best option at this point will be to go in for an immediate divorce.



• Irretrievable Breakdown: If you feel that you have irreconcilable differences with your spouse, always feel free to put your thoughts across the table. In spite of an attempt to restore normality, if you still feel that things have not changed, you can always opt for a divorce. But caution must be exercised. You need to make an earnest attempt to restore the trust you have in the other.

Divorce - Taking that Final Decision

If you satisfy any one of the above mentioned criteria, you can opt for a divorce without a second thought. But then do not be hasty. Going for a divorce involves a moral decision to be taken on your end. There is nothing right or wrong with a divorce. However, you need to consider its consequences not on you alone but also on other people who are closely associated with you. A best example will be your children. Do not sacrifice their future for your selfish gains or motive. Think diligently. Act wisely. All the Best!!!